nervousanat (nervousanat) wrote in starvation_diet,
nervousanat
nervousanat
starvation_diet

  • Mood:

fading-obsession, missy ana wishes

i binged today. and vomited. i can't take this any more! i just want to fast , for a long long, long time!!! 
Rainbow Diet
Monday (white):
Breakfast: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Dinner: 1 cucumber (24 cals)
Total: 105 cals

Tuesday (yellow):
Breakfast: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Lunch: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ cup corn (66 cals)
Total: 283 cals

Wednesday (fast):

Thursday (orange):
Breakfast: ½ orange (31 cals)
Lunch: ½ orange (31 cals)
Dinner: 1 carrot (26 cals)
Total: 88 cals

Friday (red):
Breakfast: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ red pepper (16 cals)
Total: 59 cals

Saturday (purple/blue):
Breakfast: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Lunch: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Dinner: 10 raspberries (24 cals)
Total: 40 cals

Sunday (green):
Breakfast: ½ cup grapes (57 cals)
Lunch: ½ grapes (57 cals)
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce (7 cals)
Total: 121 cals

Week total: 696 cals
 
Rainbow Diet
Monday (white):
Breakfast: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Dinner: 1 cucumber (24 cals)
Total: 105 cals

Tuesday (yellow):
Breakfast: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Lunch: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ cup corn (66 cals)
Total: 283 cals

Wednesday (fast):

Thursday (orange):
Breakfast: ½ orange (31 cals)
Lunch: ½ orange (31 cals)
Dinner: 1 carrot (26 cals)
Total: 88 cals

Friday (red):
Breakfast: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ red pepper (16 cals)
Total: 59 cals

Saturday (purple/blue):
Breakfast: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Lunch: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Dinner: 10 raspberries (24 cals)
Total: 40 cals

Sunday (green):
Breakfast: ½ cup grapes (57 cals)
Lunch: ½ grapes (57 cals)
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce (7 cals)
Total: 121 cals

Week total: 696 cals
***(hope this works, girlies. i'm looking for a pro-ana buddy. if you are interested, email me at ana angel 25, post on http://nervousanat.livejournal.com, or AIM me , ana angel 25.
love yas, ana angel 25
  • Mood: morose
Rainbow Diet
Monday (white):
Breakfast: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Dinner: 1 cucumber (24 cals)
Total: 105 cals

Tuesday (yellow):
Breakfast: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Lunch: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ cup corn (66 cals)
Total: 283 cals

Wednesday (fast):

Thursday (orange):
Breakfast: ½ orange (31 cals)
Lunch: ½ orange (31 cals)
Dinner: 1 carrot (26 cals)
Total: 88 cals

Friday (red):
Breakfast: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ red pepper (16 cals)
Total: 59 cals

Saturday (purple/blue):
Breakfast: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Lunch: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Dinner: 10 raspberries (24 cals)
Total: 40 cals

Sunday (green):
Breakfast: ½ cup grapes (57 cals)
Lunch: ½ grapes (57 cals)
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce (7 cals)
Total: 121 cals

Week total: 696 cals
(((***wish for a pro-ana buddy? email me at: Ana angel 25@aol.com 
Letter From Ana
Letter From Ana:

Allow me to introduce myself. My name, or as I am called by so called "doctors", is Anorexia. Anorexia Nervosa is my full name, but you may call me Ana. Hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time, I will invest a lot of time in you, and I expect the same from you. In the past you have heard all of your teachers and parents talk about you. You are "so mature", "intelligent", "14 going on 45", and you possess "so much potential". Where has that gotten you, may I ask? Absolutely no where! You are not perfect, you do not try hard enough, further more you waste your time on thinking and talking with friends and drawing! Such acts of indulgence shall not be allowed in the future.

Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look....fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not" you knew they were lying! Only I tell the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.

But I am about to change all that. I will expect you to drop your calorie intake and up your exercise. I will push you to the limit. You must take it because you cannot defy me! I am beginning to imbed myself into you. Pretty soon, I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and run to the scale. The numbers become both friend and enemy, and the frenzied thoughts pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay. You prod and poke at the fat that is there, and smile when you come across bone. I am there when you figure out the plan for the day: 400 calories, 2 hours exercise. I am the one figuring this out, because by now my thoughts and your thoughts are blurred together as one. I follow you throughout the day. In school, when your mind wanders I give you something to think about. Recount the calories for the day. It's too much. I fill your mind with thoughts of food, weight, calories, and things that are safe to think about. Because now, I am already inside of you. I am in your head, your heart, and your soul. The hunger pains you pretend not to feel is me, inside of you.

Pretty soon I am telling you not only what to do with food, but what to do ALL of the time. Smile and nod. Present yourself well. Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! God, you are such a fat cow!!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything...if you eat, all the control will be broken...do you WANT that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect skinned, white teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are. When you look in the mirror, I will distort the image. I will show you obesity and hideousness. I will show you a sumo wrestler where in reality there is a starving child. But you must not know this, because if you knew the truth, you might start to eat again and our relationship would come crashing down.

Sometimes you will rebel. Hopefully not often though. You will recognize the small rebellious fiber left in your body and will venture down to the dark kitchen. The cupboard door will slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food that I have kept at a safe distance from you. You will find your hands reaching out, lethargically, like a nightmare, through the darkness to the box of crackers. You shove them in, mechanically, not really tasting but simply relishing in the fact that you are going against me. You reach for another box, then another, then another. Your stomach will become bloated and grotesque, but you will not stop yet. And all the time I am screaming at you to stop, you fat cow, you really have no self control, you are going to get fat.

When it is over you will cling to me again, ask me for advice because you really do not want to get fat. You broke a cardinal rule and ate, and now you want me back. I'll force you into the bathroom, onto your knees, staring into the void of the toilet bowl. Your fingers will be inserted into your throat, and, not without a great deal of pain, your food binge will come up. Over and over this is to be repeated, until you spit up blood and water and you know it is all gone. When you stand up, you will feel dizzy. Don't pass out. Stand up right now. You fat cow you deserve to be in pain! Maybe the choice of getting rid of the guilt is different. Maybe I chose to make you take laxatives, where you sit on the toilet until the wee hours of the morning, feeling your insides cringe. Or perhaps I just make you hurt yourself, bang your head into the wall until you receive a throbbing headache. Cutting is also effective. I want you to see your blood, to see it fall down your arm, and in that split second you will realize you deserve whatever pain I give you. You are depressed, obsessed, in pain, hurting, reaching out but no one will listen? Who cares!! You are deserving; you brought this upon yourself.

Oh, is this harsh? Do you not want this to happen to you? Am I unfair? I do do things that will help you. I make it possible for you to stop thinking of emotions that cause you stress. Thoughts of anger, sadness, desperation, and loneliness can cease because I take them away and fill your head with the methodic calorie counting. I take away your struggle to fit in with kids your age, the struggle of trying to please everyone as well. Because now, I am your only friend, and I am the only one you need to please. I have a weak spot. But we must not tell anyone. If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how I make you live, all hell will break lose. No one must find out, no one can crack this shell that I have covered you with. I have created you, this thin, perfect, achieving child. You are mine and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing. So do not fight back. When others comment, ignore them. Take it into stride, forget about them, forget about everyone that tries to take me away. I am your greatest asset, and I intend to keep it that way.

Sincerely,

Ana
 
57 Reasons
01. You will be FAT if you eat today, just put it off one more day.

02. You don't NEED food.

03. Fat people can't fit everywhere.

04. Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.

05. You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.

06. People will remember you as "the beautiful thin one".

07. If someone has to describe you, they'll say "oh she weighs like 90, 100 lbs".

08. Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.

09. Starving is an example of excellent willpower.

10. You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.

11. Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.

12. If you eat then you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer.

13. The models that everyone claims are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? NO!

14. Too many people in the world are obese.

15. People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.

16. Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them.

17. Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.

18. You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.

19. Only thin people are graceful.

20. If you slap a fat person you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.

21. Do you want people to say "for gods sake get off me you're crushing me!!!" or "you are sooo light" ???

22. Underweight aka perfect body.

23. Ballerina? or beanbag?

24. I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.

25. I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.

26. Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and they drag you down.

27. Nothing cant be fixed with hunger and weight loss.

28. Saying "no thanks" to food is saying "yes please" to THIN!!!

29. Fat people are so huge, yet people look away from them as if they don't exist.

30. The only time people do notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by (ok that sounds really horrible i know.)

31. Have you ever seen a person NOT notice a walking skeleton.

32. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

33. Is food more important that happiness in life? I think not!

34. Eating is conforming to everyone else's expectations.

35. When you start to get dizzy and weak you're almost there.

36. Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.

37. Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out making you fat, bloated, ugly and unhappy.

38. Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.

39. If you can name one reason to be fat, I'll name a million and one to be thin.

40. Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.

41. Food rots your teeth.

42. Puffy cheeks, double chins and thick ankles-- aren't attractive.

43. Fatty areas stretch and sag as you get older.

44. Ever seen the arms of a fat person wave hello or goodbye?

45. Eating little to nothing saves you money!

46. The average (middle class) American wastes OVER $8,000 a year on FOOD ALONE...it goes in one end and out the other. That sure is a lot of fat! No wonder so many Americans are obese and overweight!

47. Fat people make their country look bad.

48. Big people sweat more and they smell bad.

49. Fat people die earlier.

50. You'll be the envy of all the other girls.

51. All of the guys will want you.

52. You're less likely to get food poisoning.

53. You won't be exposed to all the chemicals and pesticides they put in food today.

54. You won't get sweaty on hot days.

55. The word fat will only apply to you in a sarcastic way.

56. No one wants to see a fat person dance.

57. Beauty Queen? or Dairy Queen?
 
Rainbow Diet
Monday (white):
Breakfast: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Dinner: 1 cucumber (24 cals)
Total: 105 cals

Tuesday (yellow):
Breakfast: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Lunch: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ cup corn (66 cals)
Total: 283 cals

Wednesday (fast):

Thursday (orange):
Breakfast: ½ orange (31 cals)
Lunch: ½ orange (31 cals)
Dinner: 1 carrot (26 cals)
Total: 88 cals

Friday (red):
Breakfast: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ red pepper (16 cals)
Total: 59 cals

Saturday (purple/blue):
Breakfast: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Lunch: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Dinner: 10 raspberries (24 cals)
Total: 40 cals

Sunday (green):
Breakfast: ½ cup grapes (57 cals)
Lunch: ½ grapes (57 cals)
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce (7 cals)
Total: 121 cals

Week total: 696 cals
***(http://nervousanat.livejournal.com)) 
Chicken Soup Diet
Chicken Soup Diet works on a very simple idea.  You have 1 breakfast each day (see breakfast choices listed below) and as much chicken soup as you want during the day.  First off, the recipe for the chicken soup is in the recipes section of the site. Below you'll find the breakfast choices you can have each morning.

Breakfasts Choices
On the chicken soup diet you are allowed one breakfast a day. Now you can try a different breakfast every day, and this is the best way because it will give you a good nutritional balance. Since there are only 5 different ones to choose from, for the last two days of the diet, repeat the ones you liked the best. Okay, here are the Breakfast dishes:

Breakfast 1:
1 cup vanilla nonfat yogurt combined with 1/2 cup chopped fruit salad and sprinkled with wheat germ.

Breakfast 2:
1 cup ricotta cheese combined with 1/2 tsp. of sugar and a dash of cinnamon.
2 pieces while-grain bread, toasted
3 dried figs

Breakfast 3:
1 1/2 cups Total cereal
1/2 cup nonfat milk
1/2 cup calcium enriched orange juice

Breakfast 4:
1/2 cup prune juice
1 small whole-wheat bagel, topped with 1 oz of fat-free cheddar cheese melted.

Breakfast 5:
1 1/2 cups cooked Wheaten Cereal
1/2 cup nonfat milk

Now remember, you have one of these breakfast dishes every day and then as much of the chicken soup as you want. yay
 
 Monday (white):
Breakfast: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ apple (40.5 cals)
Dinner: 1 cucumber (24 cals)
Total: 105 cals

Tuesday (yellow):
Breakfast: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Lunch: 1 banana (108.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ cup corn (66 cals)
Total: 283 cals

Wednesday (fast):

Thursday (orange):
Breakfast: ½ orange (31 cals)
Lunch: ½ orange (31 cals)
Dinner: 1 carrot (26 cals)
Total: 88 cals

Friday (red):
Breakfast: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Lunch: ½ cup strawberries (21.5 cals)
Dinner: ½ red pepper (16 cals)
Total: 59 cals

Saturday (purple/blue):
Breakfast: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Lunch: 10 blueberries (8 cals)
Dinner: 10 raspberries (24 cals)
Total: 40 cals

Sunday (green):
Breakfast: ½ cup grapes (57 cals)
Lunch: ½ grapes (57 cals)
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce (7 cals)
Total: 121 cals

Week total: 696 cals
okay, girlies, email me (rachel) to get more diet updates, or ask me personal questions. i'll give you distractions from eating, blah, blah blah))) my email is anaangel25@aol.com
-see you there? email me!***xoxot
  • Mood: good
Russian gymnast diet;

breakfast: orange or apple juice

lunch: fruit juice, small fruit salad (pineapple, peeled apple, mango)

din: glass of non-carbonate water***, apple or pineapple

***non-carbonate water means normal waters 
  • Mood: crappy
people, find out about this site! please post! Tell me about yourself! 
  • Mood: curious
Welcome to my site, i'm Rachel. Who here is anorexic? Post here, please!!!*** 
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